I can fetal position my way into my luggage
peeking out behind the zipper at my mother
who laughs with sadness behind her eyes
zip me up, like I zip back the fear because
Fear fits inside suitcases
in the space inside your shoes
where you thought you should put
your socks to maximize space,
but you can't minimize anxiety,
and sadness, and the stupid look on people's faces
when they tell you they're proud of you
and you tell the same stupid story about
pinching pennies since 10th grade,
but you don't tell them about
pinching the inside of your cheeks
whenever someone brings up
the weather and whether or not you'll
miss it, them, us, you.
Today I took a shower sitting down
and thought about butterknife goodbyes
curled up in the sofa with the coffee stains that
now doesn't smell like dog but like baking powder.
I took a shower sitting down today
and my feet ached from standing up all day
packing suitcases lined with excitement
and stitched together with fear.
Everybody wants to give you socks,
But nobody asks if you’re scared that you fit
Fetal position in a suitcase, a special place for
when you panic overseas.
Lista de imágenes:
1. Yin Xiuzhen, "Portable city of Groningen", 2011.
2. Yin Xiuzhen, "Portable city of Madrid", 2012.
3. Yin Xiuzhen, "Portable city of Paris", 2004.